. I thought maybe you'd forgotten us."I never arrived more than a couple of minutes before my appointment. I could keep some rein on the excitement by pushing it to the back of my mind but once I enter the office I find it very difficult to suppress."Nope, I'm following my usual just in time philosophy," I said taking a seat.I was scanning the magazine collection on the table aware of the increase in the nervous flutters in my low belly when I heard the nurse call my name.I'd had very little to do with Gloria—Doctor Huggins nurse—but I did of course see her at some point each time I was there. She was usually the one who collected patients from the waiting room and escorted them to the appropriate examination room.I stood up and without prompting followed her down the hall."How are you today?" she asked conversationally over her shoulder."I'll be better once I get this over with," I replied, not in the least reluctant to make my discomfort known."I know what you mean ... it's not one. What was it? I recalled dropping acid in college, and how the experience was something like smoking very good marijuana, though no one would ever confuse the two. This was like that. I wouldn't confuse it with infatuation. Perhaps I really was charmed? That would be okay. The heart has its reasons that Reason knows nothing of. I didn't need to know the reason.I kept remembering the whole evening, one part in detail, then another. It always ended with the crashing end, where we had both suddenly awakened to ourselves. Ah damn. Damn.Outdoors, then, to walk around the campus. Two a.m. A lovely campus, a lovely night, but no magic. Ending at the library. Don't do this, idiot! So, across the Commons, past the Union, along residential streets.A still night. I had seen one car and no people. A few windows had lights behind them. I came to a lake and walked all the way around it on a bike path, listening to my footsteps, some crickets, and one or two night birds. There were only the night.
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